SPIDERS!!!1

Andy: spidaz
Andy: spiderman, spiderman
Andy: does whatever a spider can
Andy: shoots a web, any size
Andy: catches thieves, just like flies
Andy: LOOK OUT
Andy: here comes the spiderman!
Andy: In the heat of the night
Andy: at the scene of a crime
Andy: like a streak of light
Andy: he arrives just in time!
Andy: spiderman, spiderman
Andy: friendly neighborhood spiderman
Andy: wealth and fame, he's ignored
Andy: ACTION IS, HIS REWARD!
Andy: lookout, there goes the spiderman!!!!

Andy: Today's topic is spiders: our friends in nature
Casey: death friends
Andy: First a brief history
Andy: Spiders have existed since 1642, when they were created by the pope to drive the moors out of Spain
Andy: Since that time they have been a boon to humanity
Andy: Casey, why don't you share your thoughts on Spiders.
Casey: spiders make me cry
Mike: I remember when my parents would tell me the story of the Pied Poper when I was a child
Mike: don't pour spiders in your eyes
Andy: sound advice indeed. Casey, did you ever pour spiders in your eyes?
Casey: i'm going to cry guys
Andy: HOW ABOUT YOUR MOUTH?.
Mike: that's because you've got spiders in your eyes
Andy: Spiders are awesome
Andy: Did you guys ever see that movie "Kingdom of the Spiders"?
Casey: no, i hate spiders, they are creepy death balls with legs
Andy: It was awesome.
Andy: There were these Spiders, see.
Andy: And William Shatner.
Andy: And the Spiders, they were from Texas, or Mexico, and they killed cows.
Andy: But then they started killing PEOPLE too
Andy: And then they took over all of Texas
Andy: It was a happy ending
Mike: Casey could be the mayor of Spidertown
Andy: Yeah. rofl Casey is king of the spidertown
Casey: if i was the mayor of spider town i would kill myself
Mike: I think the spiders would kill you first
Andy: WELL YOUR MAYOR OF SPIDERTOWN SO I GUESS YOUD BEST GET A ROPE PUSSY
Mike: Casey would probably get himself impeached
Mike: I can see it now:
Mike: "GUYS SPIDERS ARE DUMB"
Mike: (spiders) "STFU"
Mike: (Casey) "OW DONT BITE MY GENITALS"
Andy: rofl.
Mike: (spiders) "STFU"
Casey: :'(
Andy: why dont you say something casey
Andy: SPIDERS GOT YOUR TOUNGUE?
Casey: because i am too busy crying
Mike: spiders can smell fear
Andy: They live for it
Casey: good, then they will kill me and get it over with
Mike: no
Casey: spiders took my grandpa's finger
Mike: they will start a Casey-fear-farm
Andy: The spiders will wrap you up in their web
Andy: but they wont kill you
Casey: they bit him and made it rott and fall off
Mike: and lay eggs in your mouth
Andy: they'll just keep you there and lay eggs in your mouth
Andy: and baby spiders will crawl in your mouth
Andy: and shoot poison in your eyes
Andy: but not poison that kills you.
Mike: Andy, how do you know so much about spiders?
Mike: was your aunt a spider too?
Andy: Poison that makes you poop spiders
Andy: Yeah
Mike: we should hang out some time
Andy: My grandpa is spiderman
Andy: k
Mike: I bet our aunts could kick Casey's ass
Andy: totally
Casey: guys, this isnt funny
Andy: shut up, spider-disliker.
Mike: knock knock
Andy: who's there?
Mike: spy
Andy: spy who?
Mike: I SPY CASEY COVERED IN SPIDERS
Andy: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Andy: Hey Casey
Casey: what
Andy: Why don't you like spiders?
Casey: because they took my granpa's finger, made my mom bedridden for a month and are creepy little bastards with pointy fangs of death
Andy: So, I almost got stung by a jellyfish this one time
Andy: And you don't hear me hating on jellyfish 24/7 like some kind of playa-hata.
Mike: that gives me chills thinking about it, Andy
Mike: no more
Andy: mb next time we'll review jellyfish
Andy: and how they're like a billion times deadlier than spiders
Casey: i got stung by jellyfish
Andy: because spiders are our friends
Casey: you guys are pansies
Andy: Don't lie to make friends, casey
Andy: it never works
Casey: i hate you guys
Mike: if the jellyfish and spiders got in a fight, who would win?
Casey: spiders
Mike: but the jellyfish is in water
Casey: jellyfish cant hurt people
Mike: they would have to be ballooning spiders
Andy: Are they on land or in the see
Casey: spiders walk on water dude
Andy: not on see water, ass
Mike: not sea water
Andy: ARE THEY ON LAND OR IN SEA
Andy: and like how many spiders vs. how many jellyfish
Casey: the surf on the beach
Mike: let's make it in a space arena where the two elements converge
Mike: to make it fair and all
Andy: k
Casey: spiders
Andy: how many?
Mike: okay, I got dibs on controlling the spiders
Mike: a million
Casey: jellyfish dont even have complicated body cavities
Andy: I get my army of robotic stingrays then
Andy: Casey gets the jellyfish
Mike: no way, dude
Mike: they're just going to judge
Mike: and throw popcorn and shit
Andy: it'll be a lumberjack match
Mike: okay
Casey: you guys dont even care about spiders
Mike: alright, first my spiders attack Casey's tentacles
Andy: yeah we do
Andy: what do you do Casey?
Mike: remember, there are a million of them
Andy: You can actively dodge, or just hope your AC is low enough
Casey: i cry myself to sleep because i'm not playing your game
Andy: K, spiders hit.
Andy: Mike, roll 3d6
Mike: 18!!!!1
Andy: !!!!!!!
Mike: you die of spider poisoning
Andy: is critical hit
Andy: wait
Casey: im not playing guys
Mike: roll your saving throw or whatever
Andy: Casey, save vs. poisons and death
Mike: fine
Casey: you can just kill me
Mike: no
Mike: we've been over this
Andy: ur no fun
Casey: that way this review is over faster
Mike: they lay eggs in your mouth
Andy: yeah
Mike: and you are turned into a spider breeding farm
Andy: and you poop baby spiders
Casey: i hate you guys
Andy: You know what I like?
Mike: candy?
Casey: spiders?
Andy: GIANT SPIDERS
Andy: Giant Spiders made of Candy that shoot lasers and lightning
Andy: and smaller spiders
Mike: are the spiders made out of lasers and lightning?
Andy: No, they are made of liquid metal
Andy: UNSTOPPABLE POWER
Mike: that lets them fit in Casey's organs
Andy: Yeah, bcuz he is missing parts
Mike: one of them could just surround Casey's body
Mike: and he'd be trapped inside it forever
Andy: Maybe the liquid metal spiders could take control of his brain somehow
Andy: And make him do their bidding
Mike: then he would be king of ths piders
Mike: and he could teach them spider calculus
Andy: OR THEY WOULD BE KING OF HIM
Andy: !!!!!!!!
Mike: and they would build spider cities
Andy: wow
Andy: What do you think, Casey? Sound like a good idea?
Mike: Casey, you could be king of Spiderland
Casey: we've been over this
Casey: i would kill myself
Casey: i think if i had huge metal spiders that shot lasers or something, it wouldn't be as bad
Mike: what if they just spat spiders?
Casey: i just hate the fast small little black hairy fangy crawlie spiders
Andy: Remember, the giant spiders aren't metal
Andy: only the spiders they spit out are
Andy: The giant spiders are made of spider
Casey: then i would cry
Casey: because that is worse
Andy: But you can't cry
Mike: what if they were small fast spiders made of baby parts?
Andy: Because if you do, you'll cry out spiders
Andy: Because they're inside your head
Mike: inside your tear ducts
Andy: Gnawing, crawling, slithering
Mike: maybe you could shoot spiders like that guy who shoots milk
Andy: Back to Spiderman. Do you hate him too, Casey?
Casey: spiders dont slither
Casey: and i like snakes
Andy: What about genetically engineered SPIDERSNAKES
Casey: you mean snakes with legs
Andy: SLITHERY SNAKES WITH 8 LEGS AND MULTIPLE KINDS OF POISON
Casey: those are lizards
Casey: and i like those
Andy: lizards dont have 8 legs
Mike: now would they spit snakes, spiders, or more spidersnakes?
Andy: unless they're moon lizards or something
Casey: they dont have to spit anything
Andy: They spit lava
Mike: all spiders must spit
Casey: they suck
Casey: out the internal partially digested fluids of their prey
Mike: they suck out your innards
Andy: But Casey, LAVA.
Andy: LAVA, Casey. Think about it.
Andy: :D
Andy: =O=
Andy: =o=
Andy: damn
Mike: SPIDER ATTACK
Andy: didn't work
Andy: i tried for spider emoticton
Andy: OK Casey, we are give up on doing review since you wont talk
Mike: I hope you choke
Mike: ...on spiders
Mike has left the room.
Andy: yeah
Casey: I AM TALKING
Andy: By the way, spiders get a 7. JERK.
Andy has left the room.
Casey: YOU GUYS ARE DICKS